Be Still and KNOW

This month has been full of valleys and very few mountains. Ted's job has been overloaded with stressful events. His stress bleeds off onto me, even though he tries to protect us from it. Prayer warriors have gathered and have prayed us through the hard times. The comfort and strength that comes from a blanket of prayer is incomparable. My work position might be changing, and I found that to be weighing on me.
God gave me a verse Thursday night that helped me keep things in perspective.
Psalm 131:1-3 " LORD, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child. Let Israel hope in the LORD from henceforth and for ever." I can rest and be quiet in the Lord and let Him take care of it, instead of being an impatient fussy baby that can't be satisfied or content. If my hope is in the Lord, then I really need to let Him handle it, since it's very obvious I can't.
So every time I start feeling that overwhelming sense of stress and burden and feel like screaming, I remember that I am no longer a infant in the Lord. I need to take Him at His Word, trust in Him, and quiet myself.

He came to my desk with a quivering lip.
The lesson was done.
"Dear teacher, I want a new page," he said,
I have spoiled this one."

I took the old page, torn and blotted,
And gave him a new one, all unspotted,
And into his sad eyes smiled:
"Do better now, my child."

I came to God's throne with a trembling heart.
The year's work was done.
"Dear Father, I want a new life," I said,
"I have spoiled this one."

He took my old life, torn and blotted,
And gave me a new one, all unspotted,
And into my sad heart smiled:
"Do better now, my child."
"A New Leaf" by Kathleen Wheeler

From Child to Adult

What makes a child become an adult? Is it automatic when you go from 17 to 18? What happens when you are in a different culture and the age of maturity is 13 or in times past 21? Many people age, but never actually grow up. Many thoughts like these have gone through my mind since this weekend. Our eldest turned 18 this past Saturday. I will have to pull out the Selective Service registration form, introduce him to an election ballot, get his permanent unrestricted driver's license, order a class ring, diploma, cap and gown, and start filling out college applications, grant forms, and a myriad of many other things that signify adulthood.
In the midst of all these often stress filled activities, I am yearning for him to just grow closer to our Precious Lord, and to find God's perfect will for his life. This has been a journey that feels like it started longer then 18 years ago. In essence it did, it started when at the age of 4 I gave my heart and life to Jesus and yearned to be His obedient child. As I became an adult and then a wife and mother, my greatest desire was for my children to have that same close walk with the Lord.
James has been my right hand man, my boy giant, my student, my child, my buddy... Now as the next chapter is waiting to be written in this travelogue through life, I yearn for him to be God's child, His servant, His ambassador, His reflection.....
I feel old, and yet still young, scared that I didn't do enough, yet hopeful that everything instilled in him will come to fruition.
It is a very strange feeling to see your child become a man, and to pray all the more that he will be found faithful.
Happy Birthday, James!
We LOVE YOU!!!
2 John 1:4

Christmas Grace

Christmas Grace

Thank you, Lord, for this place,
Where we gathered from life’s rat race

With tears on our face,
Our memories replay,
Our sadness is now a trace,
By the wonder of God’s Christmas Grace

Down came the snow,
Beautiful, sparkling, icy lace,
Family and friends,
Food, fun, fellowship,
And candy by the case!

Gifts, girls, guys,
Grandparents, Oh MY
How can this be?
Maybe you ask why?
It’s a testimony of God’s Christmas grace, we would reply

God gave His Son one Christmas morn
His greatest gift for us to be reborn
A shout and Gabriel’s horn
Then crowns upon His feet we’ll adorn

It is this hope
This truth upon which we base
Our ability to live and cope-
-- God’s Christmas Grace



--RJC 12/26/10

Surreal and So Real

Today is December 16, 2010. One year ago today our lives were abruptly changed forever.
I sit here lost in thought as memory after memory plays out through the timeline in my mind. A myriad of emotions flit across my heart as I think of what this year has been like. I am so humbly thankful for HOPE, GRACE, MERCY, and PEACE. Hope, because without it we would not have Heaven. Grace, for every hour we think we can't make it through without going crazy with grief or pain. Mercy, for when we have more questions then answers, and Peace, for when we finally give it all to God to take care of instead.

God has been more real to me this year in deeper ways then ever before, and I have seen Him work in our family in what should have been a tragedy, but is really a Triumph of God's grace.

It was a surreal day for me, but the sadness is so real.
It is surreal to think she is gone and isn't around to take care of us.
It is so real to know that we will see her again.
It has been surreal to pick up the pieces and live life.
It's so real to have God's grace to make it through each day.
It's surreal that her earthly life is over,
It's So Real that her legacy still lives on.
Surreal? Yes, but only for a short time, then Heaven will be SO REAL!!!

Monday Musings

It has turned cold here in NC this past week, especially at night and into the early morning hours. Our hard frosts are the equivalent of snow, as we get more frost then actual snow or ice per winter season. We have scurried around looking for gloves and coats and winter attire for the few hours it's actually cold, before you turn off the heat and turn the a/c back on in the afternoons. I could not find any gloves around here that fit me, and Ted and I both figured we would need to head to the store to get us both yet another pair that will eventually get lost come springtime.
It was Monday morning again, and I did not wish to be cold all the way to work, so I pulled my heavy leather overcoat on and trudged out the door. I put my hands into my coat pockets and felt something soft and warm. I pulled out a pair of gloves! Momma's gloves!!! I couldn't remember what I had worn last year, it was because it wasn't until Momma had gone to Heaven that I inherited her winter gloves. I stood there with the gloves in my hand torn with emotions. Do I wear them? Do I stand there and cry and never get to work? I chose to thank God, and Momma for the gloves that I needed, and to laugh because once again even a year later she is taking care of me through God's plan.
The rest of my Monday was filled with normal Monday mishaps, but also interspersed with little delightful blessings. The ladybugs are migrating or whatever it is they do when they invade someone's living space. I have secretly enjoyed ladybugs crawling around in my office and on my desk. They haven't been pesky and they haven't gotten in the way. They have been little reminders of how God can give us joy in simple things.
As I reflect in this Thanksgiving season, I can't believe it's been almost a year already. Only God's grace and love has gotten us through this time of mourning, of missing, of memories, of melt-downs, and of moving forward.
Thank You, Lord, for your blessings on me.

My Adonai

One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion
You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star
Close enough to hold me in Your arms
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You're Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
One timid faithful knock
Resounds upon the Rock of Ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous
You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me
Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai
Oh, From age to age you reign in Majesty
And today You're making miracles in me
Adonai! I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai You are Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai

Higher Ground

I’m pressing on the upward way,
new heights I’m gaining every day,
still praying as I’m onward bound,
oh Lord, plant my feet on higher ground
(higher ground).

Verse 2:
My heart has no desire to stay,
where doubts arise and fears dismay.
Though some may dwell where these abound,
oh Lord, my prayer, my aim, is higher ground,
(higher ground).

Chorus:
Lord, lift me up and let me stand.
by faith on Heaven’s table land,
a higher plane I have found;
plant my feet on higher ground- higher ground.

Verse 3:
I want to live above the world,
though Satan’s darts at me are hurled;
for faith has caught all joyful sound,
the song of saints on higher ground (higher ground).

Chorus
A higher plane that I have found, Lord plant my feet on higher ground(holy ground)
We are standing in His presence all around(on holy ground)
(I love You, I love You, Holy Father)

Lord lift me up, and let me stand
where the eagle flies
on the mountain high
from the world below
and all the evil noise
Lord lift me up and let me stand by faith on Heaven's table land
We are standing in His presence on Holy Ground
A higher plane that I have found, Lord plant my feet on Higher Ground

I started to play some music today that Ted gave me, as my heart was heavy. This song came on by a popular trumpeter, and I really did not want to listen to it for reasons I will tell you at a later time. Instead, God used it to speak to me, and I was able to worship Him in song, as He knew I just longed to be with Him, on Higher Ground.
I still have this strong overpowering feeling that those who are His children will not be on this earth much longer. This has also given me a sense of urgency for those of you who are still lost and do not call Jesus - Lord, and God - your Heavenly Father. I yearn for you to know Him and accept His free gift of salvation TODAY!!