This month has been full of valleys and very few mountains. Ted's job has been overloaded with stressful events. His stress bleeds off onto me, even though he tries to protect us from it. Prayer warriors have gathered and have prayed us through the hard times. The comfort and strength that comes from a blanket of prayer is incomparable. My work position might be changing, and I found that to be weighing on me.
God gave me a verse Thursday night that helped me keep things in perspective.
Psalm 131:1-3 " LORD, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child. Let Israel hope in the LORD from henceforth and for ever." I can rest and be quiet in the Lord and let Him take care of it, instead of being an impatient fussy baby that can't be satisfied or content. If my hope is in the Lord, then I really need to let Him handle it, since it's very obvious I can't.
So every time I start feeling that overwhelming sense of stress and burden and feel like screaming, I remember that I am no longer a infant in the Lord. I need to take Him at His Word, trust in Him, and quiet myself.
He came to my desk with a quivering lip.
The lesson was done.
"Dear teacher, I want a new page," he said,
I have spoiled this one."
I took the old page, torn and blotted,
And gave him a new one, all unspotted,
And into his sad eyes smiled:
"Do better now, my child."
I came to God's throne with a trembling heart.
The year's work was done.
"Dear Father, I want a new life," I said,
"I have spoiled this one."
He took my old life, torn and blotted,
And gave me a new one, all unspotted,
And into my sad heart smiled:
"Do better now, my child."
"A New Leaf" by Kathleen Wheeler
Monday, January 24, 2011
What makes a child become an adult? Is it automatic when you go from 17 to 18? What happens when you are in a different culture and the age of maturity is 13 or in times past 21? Many people age, but never actually grow up. Many thoughts like these have gone through my mind since this weekend. Our eldest turned 18 this past Saturday. I will have to pull out the Selective Service registration form, introduce him to an election ballot, get his permanent unrestricted driver's license, order a class ring, diploma, cap and gown, and start filling out college applications, grant forms, and a myriad of many other things that signify adulthood.
In the midst of all these often stress filled activities, I am yearning for him to just grow closer to our Precious Lord, and to find God's perfect will for his life. This has been a journey that feels like it started longer then 18 years ago. In essence it did, it started when at the age of 4 I gave my heart and life to Jesus and yearned to be His obedient child. As I became an adult and then a wife and mother, my greatest desire was for my children to have that same close walk with the Lord.
James has been my right hand man, my boy giant, my student, my child, my buddy... Now as the next chapter is waiting to be written in this travelogue through life, I yearn for him to be God's child, His servant, His ambassador, His reflection.....
I feel old, and yet still young, scared that I didn't do enough, yet hopeful that everything instilled in him will come to fruition.
It is a very strange feeling to see your child become a man, and to pray all the more that he will be found faithful.
Happy Birthday, James!
We LOVE YOU!!!
2 John 1:4