Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Weight that so easily besets us

What a rollercoaster this week has been for me. By Friday evening I made a very emotional decision and the finality of it was a relief. The problem was - God did not seem to agree with my decision and my prayers and angst hit the proverbial but literal brick wall. I was more upset by not being in fellowship with my Heavenly Father then by what brought this whole issue to it's climatic "end". I cried, I ranted, I raved, I came pretty close to a pity party rolled up into a tantrum. Ted and I talked through the whole weekend about this situation. He supported me, but when the dust started to settle he started to speak words of wisdom and spiritual guidance. He began listing all the things that God might be teaching me... and he started naming the very lessons that God had in fact been showing me the past year. I calmed down and realized that maybe the situation I was in was difficult, but that God wanted me in it for HIS reasons. The brick wall started dissolving, and although I did not like that God was still telling me to continue onward and trust Him, I knew that was the best decision.

I still didn't feel like the fellowship was completely restored, and I was concerned about entering God's House today and not being able to worship or that my struggle would keep someone else from being able to worship. I had to apologize to God for having an emotional melt down and making a decision without His guidance. I kept seeking peace and not quite finding it.
After lunch today, Ted made some cookies and I went to take a nap. I had the sweetest dream, something I haven't had in a very long time. I woke up thanking God for family, and praying for the various members that I had encountered in my dream. Moving forward, I am going to totally trust God even when I am emotional. It doesn't matter whether I am in the right or not, what matters is- if I have put God first and let Him take care of those situations in life.
Life is but a vapor, don't let it become a weight that keeps you from serving the Lord.

Friday, September 28, 2012

The Land of the Living

Yesterday began very early for me, and I am NOT a morning person. I knew I needed to start the very long, busy day with a spiritual energy boost from the Word of God. Whenever I need something strong and quick, I go straight to the Psalms. I opened it up to Psalm 116 and began reading and absorbing the mirrored expression of how I felt. When I got to verse 15 I understood why the Lord had me read this passage.
I then got ready for a special 75th birthday breakfast for a lady who faithfully volunteers at the Mission Agency. At the end of July she suffered a heart attack, and it's been a very slow recovery for her. She kept saying how thankful she was to be alive.
Psalm 116:9 made me think of her - "I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living."

After work, I ate a short meal and got ready to go with Gayle(second mother in love) and other special family/friends to a Taste of Home cooking show. We had alot of fun, but it kept reminding me of Momma and her tips and recipes. You see, today is Momma's birthday. If I have my years correct, she turns 60 today. I can't celebrate her birthday with her today, but God gave me verse 15 to remind me that she is not just another face in the sea of saints in Heaven. Verse 15 says "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints." God knows my name and He knows hers and counts us both precious.
So, although I still walk in the land of the living, I pray that I will walk before the Lord, so that should I pass from this life to the next, God will comfort others with verse 15 of Psalm 116.

Happy Birthday, Momma, we love you and will see you very soon!

Monday, September 24, 2012

More Monday Musings

Why is it that I seem to post more on Mondays then any other day of the week? Probably because I am still meditating on the lessons of the past week and the message from church the day before.
Things get really hectic especially if I don't stop and decide what is important and what can wait until later. You can call this procrastination or prioritizing depends on how you value your time and your worth.
Today, I earnestly desired to do first what I knew was most important, and God made it happen for me. I thanked Him for helping me to stay sane today, in spite of how busy it was projected to be.

I came home with the beginnings of a migraine though, and the need for a nap. Many of you know that my surgery 2 years ago decreased the major migraines I used to suffer from due to abnormal hormone levels. Every once in awhile I will get a migraine again, and as they have recalled the medicine I used to take, I have to nearly overdose on something that just takes forever to work. This leaves me feeling ill and even more sleepy and just rough! I did manage to get alot of laundry started and finally was able to get off the couch to eat some supper. My headache is back down to a dull roar although the nausea hasn't gone away yet.

James is at college tonight working on his Associates in Bible degree. Justin mowed the yard, grilled his own supper, and is now watching a funny movie(he is laughing alot and exclaiming over different parts, so it must be good). Please pray that both will follow God's leading in jobs and decisions. James is hoping for more hours on his job, and Justin is trying so hard to just get a job!
Ted is working hard as usual and is fighting the respiratory infection that is sweeping across the community.

The Lord has directed my devotional time to the book of Daniel... I am looking forward to what He wants to show me. I normally start at the beginning of the book, but so far He has had me skipping around in the chapters. It's intriguing!

Our Super Teens class is starting at the Beginning, I can't believe how much I am learning. It feels as if I had somehow just skimmed through Creation without realizing just how much I seemed to have missed over all these years of "knowing all about it".

Well, this seems to be the extent of my mostly coherent thought process.
See you next time... probably on a Monday, months later LOL.

Monday, September 3, 2012

"Labor" Day

Today is Labor Day, which has put me in a quandary of sorts. As it's my only day off for the next while, I need to rest and relax. Resting, though, makes me feel guilty with so much housework to do.

After discussing it with Ted, he insisted I needed the day off. I was able to sleep in, and get alot of my laundry started. All the guys slept in and have the day off from their jobs too.

The boys received their chore list so that the house will get clean. Ted is making lunch and baking cookies, and I am trying very hard to take it easy. I am trying NOT to work on Labor Day, by letting everyone else do some work around me.
Well, it's lunch time and I am going to have to force myself to relax and not feel guilty about it either.
Hope y'all have a great Labor Day, whether you labor or not.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

'Bout to Burst!

Have you ever had so many thoughts running through your head, or so much you want to say but don't know where to start?
The entire focus of our church and family discussions right now is the Rapture. Yeh, you know that event where if you don't have an RSVP written across your heart - you won't get to go?

Time is so short you can feel it! Jesus is Coming!!! I look around at all the people who just don't care that their entire lives will be lost forever and ever! Then, I look at all those who say they are saved by the blood of the Lamb, and yet don't want to leave the "party" here on earth.

I am so excited about going that I am "bout to burst", but then I see all those who are choosing not to go with us, and it makes me so sad I want to burst into tears instead.

Are you bursting full of joy at going to Heaven? Or are you going to burst Hell wide open because you ignored or rejected the invitation to Heaven?