Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Melancholy Moment

As I sit here on this chilly Wednesday night, my thoughts are meandering through my mind as if they were window shopping. I grab a thought, look at it, and move on without dwelling on any one thing in particular for more then a second or two. Ted's job remains stressful, but I trust God to keep him close and see him through. Even though we rarely see each other anymore, the time we do spend together has been heightened in quality and has become even more precious to me. I thank God every day for the man He gave me to be the leader of my home and the holder of my heart.

I dreamed about Momma again last night. Even in the dream I was conscious of the fact that she wasn't supposed to be in that storyline, and so I spoke up and told her I needed a hug. I knew I would only be able to get it in my dream, but I treasure the memory of Momma's hugs. Tonight the teen ensemble sang my favorite hymn "It is well with my soul".... that has become my theme song for these past years, and I thrill each time I hear the song sung from the heart. Then a song was sung about believing in Heaven and Calvary, but it had a line about watching a loved one die, and I just wanted to bawl. So many people are hurting, going through surgeries, getting sick, saying good bye to loved heart aches to help them all, and I do not have the means to even do anything.
As this started to weigh on me tonight, I felt so burdened and weighted down by the immediate that I lost track of the permanent- my eternal goal.
I need to grasp my theme song and sing it loud and clear. I am about to paste the words to share with all of you and noticed that the site I got it from has stanzas I have never heard before. Thank you Lord for giving me Peace that passeth all understanding!

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

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